


Widower's Weight

by BoPeepWithNoSheep



Series: Magnulia Fics [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Carey talks Magnus through a panic attack, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Male-Female Friendship, Men Crying, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 16:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17267516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoPeepWithNoSheep/pseuds/BoPeepWithNoSheep
Summary: Magnus hadn't meant to tell Carey about Julia.





	Widower's Weight

“Oh man, flowers are real good for anniversary gifts. Julia loves that kind of stuff, like practical gifts are good but sometimes you’ve gotta remind them that practical isn’t their only option, ya know?”

Magnus is rambling when he says it, they’re chilling together and going over some fancy knife tricks. It’s the only thing that dumb old knife of his is good for, she thinks. The blade is dull as fuck but the damned thing is _perfectly_ balanced. She’s showing him as particularly dangerous toss, where she catches the blade with her teeth when his words catch her off guard enough that she aborts the gesture.

Snatching the dagger out of the air with her off hand, Carey smacks Magnus lightly on the arm, “Holy shit, man, you’ve been holding out on me?”

“Huh? Whatcha mean?”

“You’ve got a girl and you’re already giving her flowers! Guess I should have pegged you for a romantic, Burnsides.”

Carey isn’t prepared for the way that color drains from Magnus’ face as his jaw goes slack. She watches him flounder his mouth opening and closing like a fish on a hook. She definitely isn’t prepared for the way his breath hitches dangerously in a way that is both familiar and distressingly foreign. Carey’s witnessed Magnus cry before for all kinds of reasons. A cute family of birds, a picture of a puppy in Brad’s office, and once Angus’ miniature colored pencils.

This is an entirely different manner shuddering breath, one closer to the survivors of relic accidents they sometimes find. Panicked and choking and Carey’s quick to move in, hands reaching and grabbing her friend’s hand, “Hey--Hey, Magnus, it’s me, it’s Carey. You with me big guy?”

Magnus doesn’t react, frozen and glassy-eyed as his breathing speeds dangerously towards something like hyperventilating. Carey does the only thing she can think of, she rambles nonsense as she carefully tugs Magnus over to a nearby bench in a less crowded portion of the quad. By the time he’s sitting Carey stands before him, blocking at least a portion of the fighter from view. It’s about then that a pitiful whimpering sob escapes the massive man, it’s one of the most heartbreaking things Carey’s ever heard.

Carey grimaces, she’s got no idea what the right thing to do in this situation is, but she sure as hell isn’t leaving her friend.

“Come on, Burnsides. You’ve gotta tell me something--You don’t even need to use words, just gimme something, alright?” Carey’s a little desperate as she holds both of Magnus' hands but through his sobs, he manages the smallest of nods. Hiccups what might have been half a word but it’s unintelligible so Carey just sort of nods back in response and gives his palms a squeeze.

She stands with him, she isn’t sure how long exactly but it’s long enough to make her knees go stiff but she doesn’t dare move. Magnus needs her right now, he’s got her full attention.

“Oh gods, I--I’d never forget her Carey, I could never but--but it’s been so long since I’ve forgotten.” He’s shuddering again, lapsing back all the progress he’s made and Carey reaches up, places a hand on his cheek and taps him gently. His eyes snap back to her before they can film over with panic and the dragonborn feels momentarily victorious--Or she would if it weren’t for the hiccuping sob he lets out as he leans into her palm.

Carey hunches down a little, ignoring the twinge in her legs so she can look her friend directly in the eyes. All the while she keeps her voice soft and continues to stroke her claws lightly through his sideburns since it seems to keep him grounded well enough, “Hey, hey listen it’s okay. What did you forget, Magnus? Talk to me here, gotta use your words or I can't help.”

“I-I forgot she’s _gone_.”

Carey puts the dots together quickly enough and can’t help but grimace. Her arms are around him in an instant and Magnus practically collapses against her. She can feel him trembling, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry--I-I’m a terrible husband.”

“No--Magnus, **_no_**. Look at me,” She pulls back just enough that she can hook one talon underneath Magnus’ chin and tilt his head up so they’re looking at each other eye to eye, “Listen to me, all the advice you’ve given me with Killian? All the little things you said that I’d never even _thought_ about--Those were all things you did for your wife, weren’t they?”

The big lumbering human gives the feeblest nod she’s ever seen on a creature of his size. His teeth worry so hard on his bottom lip that Carey can already smell blood even if she can’t see past the hand he brings up to cover his mouth when he releases another sob. Carey draws her hand up from his chin, ghosting over his before settling in his hair. She doesn’t do much more than just gently raking her fingers through his hair, but it’s something that always calms down Killian so she figures it’s worth a shot.

“You did all that stuff for her when she was alive, and you still remember every single thing that made her happy. That’s _incredible_ , Magnus.”

He hiccups again and Carey leans forward, gently pulling Magnus’ head to rest against her chest. Cool scales soothing the puffy swollen skin around his eyes, “I _know_ you, Burnsides. I know that you give your whole ass heart to what matters to you. Your girl? I never got to meet her but I just know you were _so_ good to her. You just don’t know what else to be, dude”

They stay like that for a while, Magnus sitting and leaning against her until his breathing evens out, Carey lightly scratching his scalp with her talons. There’s something distinctly broken about her friend, that she hadn’t really noticed until now. She’d always known Magnus was a little out of it, a little too reckless for someone with such a big fucking heart.

She understands it a little better now, and as she slowly helps Magnus make it back to his room to sleep off the rest of his panic attack she makes a little promise. Carey’s gonna keep a little closer eye, gonna listen a little more when he rambles about rushing in. Carey can’t ever meet Missus Burnsides, but she can do this for her.

Carey’s gonna watch after him because she figures that the kind of girl Magnus would marry, a lady Burnsides with a heart as big as his, would want someone to look out for Magnus.

**Author's Note:**

> Carey and Magnus' friendship???? Good shit.


End file.
